Page 25 - ABF Newsletter December 2024

My conclusion is that bridge lessons in class will never be the most efficient method of learning, people are just too different. With a self-selecting group of people, all we can do as teachers is make the lessons as enjoyable and effective as possible and some learning will take place. Those who se- riously want to be good can use the classes as a springboard for their real learning which must done by home study backed up by playing a lot.
Partnerships
I draw for partners at my classes, but they chose their own partners at the bridge club. Some part- nerships work very well but others are unequally yoked. If your partner isn’t as good as you but you enjoy the partnership, that’s great. However, if you are constantly frustrated by your partner, but stick it out because you ‘couldn’t hurt their feelings’ then you are making a big mistake. You need to grasp the nettle and politely end it; you have the right, be kind to yourself. In any case, your partner may realise themselves that they are holding you back. A bridge partnership is not a marriage or even a contract. Just say, ‘I feel our partnership isn’t working and think we should both seek new partners, but remain friends.’ Not easy to do, I admit, but you won’t regret it. Hon- estly, it will be such a relief and be best for both of you.
Behaviour
I have met so many nice people through bridge and I’m sure you have too. Most bridge players are polite, educated, law abiding citizens. At the bridge table, all are treated equally regardless of race, reli- gion, age, wealth and gender – that is honestly my experience. Imagine a country where everyone was the sort of person who becomes a bridge player; there would be no crime apart from traffic offences, our doors wouldn’t need locks, there would be no litter on the streets and no bad language. Do you think I’m being idealistic?
Unfortunately, a minority of these esteemed citi- zens, pillars of the community, who do great chari- table work, transform into table terrorists (TTs) when playing bridge. Indeed, when I try to persuade my students to go to a bridge club, they don’t ask about the standard of play, the comfort of the premises, the ease of parking, the systems played, how well it’s organised or the speed of play. They simply ask, ‘Is it a friendly club? Are the players fierce? Will I get told off if I do the wrong thing?’
Of course, all bridge clubs claim to welcome new- comers; just as all brides and babies are beautiful. It’s like motherhood and apple pie. While the club welcomes newcomers, some of its inhabitants might
be anything but welcoming. Many bridge clubs have best behaviour policies, but from the stories which still come to my ears and from the letters I read in BRIDGE, the TTs are still alive and kicking and putting people off the game as they always did. Why does such bridge lawlessness continue to exist among the most law abiding of citizens?
I’m sure the TTs don’t intend to spoil the enjoy- ment of others; they just lack the self awareness to know they are doing it. The trouble is that no-one tells them, people just mutter amongst themselves about the problem and some just vote with their feet. Sometimes the TTs are the club’s best players or committee members who do a power of work for the club so no-one wants to offend them. They are often the nicest of people away from the bridge table.
Edmund Burke said many years ago that the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. And that is the nub of the prob- lem – people put up with it and don’t complain. It’s just not British to do so; no-one wants to be a grass. So if your club has such a problem then the mem- bers are to blame even more than the TTs.
Don’t suffer in silence. If someone is rude to you, do something. Call the director, who might be at a loss – it might cause embarrassment, who cares. If everyone did this, the problem would be solved very quickly. If you are stunned into silence by an unexpected onslaught, then complain to the di- rector or the club president at the end; failing that write a letter to the club secretary. Even if you are a newcomer, don’t hold your peace, the club needs you more than you need it. There are lots of clubs competing for new members, you are of great value. If the club gives a dismissive response to your com- plaint, then seek another club, but not before.
Behaviour problems are less common at the bridge class as the teacher can usually spot it and deal with it tactfully or with humour. But don’t think you know everything that goes on at your class, as some people are very cunning and do their bullying when the teacher is out of earshot. However, if you are approachable people will tell you about it; always thank people for a complaint, don’t be defensive.
As a long time bridge club proprietor, I have had to confront the TTs over the years, for if I didn’t I could lose my club. I do so as diplomatically as possible, but it can be awkward, embarrassing and messy. I always think I could have handled it better, but the problem always gets resolved, one way or the other.
There is a downside though to running a club which is a TT free area – a long waiting list!
Australian Bridge Federation Ltd. Newsletter: December 2024
Page 25